Today was a very interesting day, i went up to the hospital with my mom around 1:30 and was there until about 5:30ish, i sat in an area of the hospital where people who don't have insurance receive out patient chemotherapy. It was really sad, it was completely different then where i would receive outpatient chemotherapy. When i walked in i felt dirty and sick. I was exhausted after like 30 min of sitting there and asked if there was somewhere to lie down. I really wanted to snoop around. I walked in and layed in a plastic recliner surrounded by a dirty curtain. The noises and sight made me nations. I don't feel like a very smart person and i know i don't know alot about health care and such but i do believe everyone should be treated equal and if you don't have the money for your HEALTH then the gov. should help.
I finally got my shot and was starving, my appetite has def been up lately which is good! I even had enough strength after my shot to take the stairs down 2 floors! So then after all that me my mom earl hollee david jim and debbie all met before Dr. Selby my oncologist to talk about the transplant. It all went smooth Dr. Selby explained that i will have the next 2 weeks to do nothing ( yay ) and then ill have a PET scan to see how my tumor Marla is doing. If Marla is gone or alot smaller which the Lord knows she will be cause Kelsey named her nasty face- then i can go along with my transplant if it is still big then ill have to undergo more chemo. There is a certain point though they can only go so far with chemo before i am just getting sicker and its not working so they have to watch that.
Its hard to explain everything its really overwhelming and once again i dont feel very smart.
This whole "cacner thing" sucks. But it is something i have to do. I have no control over it and all i can do is stay positive and pray. I have people surrounding me that truly love me and care about what is going on in my life. I couldnt ask for anyting more right now.
My birthday is coming up and its hard to come to grips with the fact that i am going to be 20 and have cancer AGAAIN. ill listen to hollee and look forward to 21 to party it up and just relax this year lol.
dinner with kelsey bowen tomorrow- love that girl and am so glad God put her in my life years ago and have brought us back together. As for now i am achy and tired and have nothing more to say.
"Love knows no limit to its endurance, no end to its trust, no fading of its hope; it can outlast anything. Love still stands when all else has fallen.”
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